A very Sexy Christmas
by pline
Summary: Twas the day before Christmas... Joshua gets a very grumpy Marisa a little something.  What could it be...? Crack/ A little Christmas gift for snowylavendermist :D


Hehe, a little gift for snowylavendermist! :D

**Disclaimer: **As always, I do not own Fire Emblem.

* * *

"Fa la la la la la la la la!" Ewan sang, with a Santa hat plumped on his head. He ran around camp with a book in his arm that read 'Christmas Carols.' Trailed behind him was Ross, who also had a Santa hat dangling from his head.

Not too far away, L'Arachel emerged from her tent, carrying a mug filled with sickly yellow liquid, With Dolza behind her, carrying a tray of glasses filled with the fluid.

"Look! Dolza and I made eggnog!" L'Arachel said.

"Here Rennac! Try it!" She shoved the mug into his displeasing face.

"Do I… Have to?" He asked solemnly.

"Try it! It's sure to be marvelous if it was made by me!"

"Eh…" He hesitantly the glass to his lips, and took a small sip.

His face went from a displeasing look to a gross out, pale, sickly one.

"How is it?" L'Arachel asked, oblivious to his expression.

He slowly turned his head to face her. "It's… Excuse me." He pushed her aside and ran into the forest.

"Gwahaha!" Dolza bellowed. "Our eggnog was so good, he had to go isolate himself to drink the whole thing!"

"Yes! That must be it! Come, Dolza, we mustn't keep these delicious goods from everyone else in the camp. Let's go hand them out!" And off they went, humming a tune from Jingle Bells.

_I'll have to make sure not to drink any of that. _Marisa thought to herself.

She watched from afar, on the outskirts of the camp and the forest; leaned against an oak tree and her arms crossed in front of her chest.

Her eyes shifted towards Colm and Artur, who were quarrelling about the gifts they've gotten.

"It's the day before Christmas and I haven't gotten anything for Neimi yet!" Colm exclaimed. He looked just about ready to pull out his hair.

"Really? I thought you said you got her several gifts?" Artur asked.

"I did that because I wasn't sure which one she would like." He pulled out a heavy sack and dumped its components in front of the monk.

Artur stared in bewilderment as items such as dolls, combs, mirrors, scarves, shoes, and jewelry spilled out.

"How… How did you afford all of these?" Artur asked.

"I got them for free... From other people." Colm said casually.

"You stole them? You can't pass on stolen goods as present on Christmas! It's… It's… Blasphemy!"

Artur continued on lecturing on about the spirit of Christmas while the disinterested Colm merely waved his hand off to him.

Marisa's attention went elsewhere towards Neimi, Lute and Amelia, who were discussing the same matter of gifts.

"I'm not sure if he'll like it… I mean, he did complain several times how dirty and wrecked his cape was." An unconfident Neimi said as she held up a black cape.

"Don't worry! He'll love it!" Amelia assured.

"While you're complaining over your present, I got Artur the perfect gift." Lute said confidently.

"Oh? What is it?" Neimi inquired.

"This nice, big, harmless tarantula." She whipped out a clear jar that held the spider. Nice and big, it was.

"Isn't he afraid of spiders?" Amelia asked.

"Yeah, so?"

"Hey Marisa!"

She shifted her eyes to the side to see a certain red-headed king emerge from behind a tree branch.

"Hi." She greeted blandly.

"What are you doing hanging around here? It's the Christmas holidays! It's a time to be with friends, family and being happy."

"Meh." She spat out. "Christmas is just a holiday where people can be greedy and superficial. All they want is just gifts. There's nothing to happy about that."

"Hey now, don't be such a scrooge. And that's not entirely true. It's the thought that counts, right? And it always brings a smile to my face when I see that person's face lit up from opening up my gifts. It's all about making people happy."

"Are you trying to be poetic, or something?" She gazed up at him skeptically.

"I'm just telling you what I think." He let out a long sigh. "It's a shame you're not into the Christmas spirit since I got you a little something."

"Huh?" She was caught completely off guard. She knew for a fact that she was the only person on the camp ground who was not participating in their little gift swap. She was certain she made that clear to everyone. Why fuss and stress over yourself trying to find something for someone else? Chances were, they won't like it. "But I… Didn't get you anything."

"That's alright." He took a couple paces from her then turned to look at her.

"I placed it in your tent. Go open it right now; I wanna see what you think of it."

"Uh…" She blushed. "Christmas isn't until tomorrow…" She nervously looked down at the ground.

Joshua shrugged. "So it's an early gift."

She opened her mouth to start protesting against him getting her a present, but a voice interrupted her.

"Hey Joshua! It's time to play poker." The Prince of Frelia called out.

"Ah poker! Now this, I cannot miss." He turned to face her once more. "Once you've open my gift, come find me at the west end of the camp." He said before leaving.

"But I- Ah…" But he was gone.

She stood against the tree for a while debating with her thoughts.

It felt… Unfair. He got her a present, and she got him nothing.

_I should return it to him unopened._

_Well… I still have all day to look for a present before Christmas tomorrow…_

_No! You are not the selfish, superficial people like the rest of them are. _

_Although… I am curious of what he got me._

. . .

Her feet started off to her tent, occasionally stopping when her thoughts kicked in.

_Wait… I'm terrible at picking out presents. What if I get him something he hates?_

The thought wandered off to an imaginative scenario…

"_Here you go, Joshua!" She chirped out with a big, bright, smile on her face._

"_Ooohh!" He said in awe. _

_She handed him the small box, wrapped in golden shimmering paper. _

_She watched as he curiously analyzed the box; holding the box next to his ear and shaking it up and down. _

_Then, like an eager child on Christmas morning (haha, get it?), he fiercely tore the wrapping paper off and opened the box. _

_She continued to watch his facial expression, hoping to see the smile already plastered on his face turn into an even bigger one. _

_Instead, she watched it frown into a displeasing expression.  
_

"_What the heck is this?" He asked blandly. _

"_It's your present."_

_He picked up the present, holding it with just his thumb and forefinger._

"_A Santa hat? Really?" He said insipidly. _

"_Yeah. You know… Because you like hats."_

_He stared at the hat, then at Marisa. Then at the hat. Then back to Marisa. _

_Finally…_

"_This is the WORST Christmas present EVER! I hate this! I hate you! You ruined Christmas for me!" He wailed as he threw the hat in her face and ran off bawling like a little child. _

She shuddered at the thought.

But before she knew it, she had arrived at her tent.

The first thing that caught attention, was a big flat box, laid on the dresser.

She picked it up.

And just like the Joshua in her imagination, she began to analyze it; inspecting its pink wrapping paper, its white ribbon tied to hold the wrapping in place.

She held it up to her ear and shook the box. There was a small, soft, ruffling sound.

She wondered what it could be.

Carefully, she untied the white ribbon, and then tore at the pink wrapping paper, making sure she didn't rip it.

Successfully, she did so. All that was left was to take off the lid of the white box…

. . .

"What… What the heck is this?" She muttered to herself.

In the box laid a flimsy black night gown. Or was it a corset? Or a dress? A very, very, very short dress.

Nope. It was lingerie. Very sexy lingerie.

The top part gave off the appearance of a corset, because there were no shoulder straps. Around the breast area, a flowy skirt came down perhaps down to the thigh area, but it was see through. Along with the corset like thing, came matching undergarments and stockings.

She stared wide eyed at the present.

_What in the world is he thinking, getting me this?_

There was a folded piece of paper on top of the lingerie. She picked it and unfolded it.

**"I'll be thinking of YOU this Christmas. Hope we can use this together."** It read.

"HEH?" She squeaked out.

Her mouth was hung so open, you could probably fit a whole fist in it, and her eyes open to wide it was nearly bulging out her eyes.

Was this the face he wanted to see from her?

_Use it together? What? How? Why? Where? Huh?_

She blushed madly at the thought.

Then, her thoughts led her to yet another imaginative scenario…

"_Here I am…" Marisa said weakly. She tried her best to sprawl herself seductively at the door, with one hand placed behind her head, the other on her hip, but she failed miserably._

_Joshua, shirtless, laid himself on the rose petal covered bed. He looked Marisa up and down, a hungry and evil look on his face. _

"_Ooh, you're making me all hot standing there so sexily." He purred. He sat up and patted a spot on the bed. "Come here."_

"_Eh… I don't really want to." She said quietly as she cowered behind the door. _

"_Marisaaaaa." He sang seductively. "If you don't come… I might as well come over there." _

_Before she could react, Joshua pounced on her like a hungry lion on an innocent sheep._

"_No Joshua no! NUUUUUUU!" _

_And her cries would be heard by no one. _

The thought send tingles up her spine.

_This is all just a joke... Right?_

. . .

_RIGHT?_

Her relationship with him has been nothing but sparring with each other, and making the occasional small bets.

Since when did it romantically consensual?

Had she led him on in some kind of way?

She obviously didn't feel the same about him.

. . .

Er, right?

RIGHT?

Only one way to get to the bottom of this.

She picked up the box and stomped out the tent.

With the box tucked underneath her arm, she made her way to the west end of the camp ground where Joshua said he would be.

"Hey Marisa! You're finally going to participate in out gift swap?" Tana asked as she passed by her.

"No." Marisa quickly dismissed and went on stomping her way through the camp ground.

Finally, she arrived. Joshua, Ephraim, Innes, Saleh, Gilliam, Forde and Kyle were gathered around a big wooden stump, with poker chips and cards on it.

Joshua had his back to her, so she went up and stood behind him, catching her breath from the trip.

The six other men noticed the tired out and fuming Marisa, so they stared at her.

Seeing at what they were looking at, Joshua craned his head around.

"Oh hey Marisa. Have you opened my present yet?"

"Is this some kind of joke?" She said angrily.

"What do you mean?"

"This... This present! Do you expect me to wear this?"

"Uh... Not all the time, if you don't want to. But I was kinda hoping you could when we're together. Y'know, so we can improve together." He said casually.

She couldn't believe what she was hearing. "What?"

"You can even use it with other people!"

She REALLY couldn't believe what she was hearing. "WHAT?"

"Why do you look so angry? I thought you'd like this kind of thing. Actually, I don't think, I know you love these kind of things."

Her mouth hung open as small squeaks and gasps escaped her mouth. "How do you know what I like and don't like? And you couldn't be any more wrong!"

She took the box underneath her arm and brought it down on Joshua's head. Hard.

"You pervert! You idiot!" She shouted as she continuously smacked the box as hard as she could on his head.

"Hey! Ow! WHY?" Joshua pleaded as he held one arm up to protect himself.

"Marisa... What are you doing with my present?"

She slowly turned around to face Gerik.

"...You're present?" She asked slowly.

"Yeah. That's my gift for Tethys."

She looked at the crumpled box, then at Gerik.

"You mean this sexy lingerie is for Tethys?"

Gerik shifted his gaze around, then leaned in towards her.

"I actually prefer you not say that out loud." He whispered.

. . .

"Oh."

_Opps. _

Of course. She shared a tent with Tethys. This gift must have been for Tethys, not her.

Silly Marisa.

She felt relief the present wasn't intended for her, but at the same time, weirded out about what her chief and friend were planning to do.

And of course, she felt embarrassed.

She turned around to look at Joshua. And Ephraim, Innes, Saleh, Fore, Gilliam and Kyle at that.

They stared at her with their mouths hung slightly opened and an eyebrow raised. Joshua, on the other hand, was gently rubbing his head where she had profusely hit him with the box.

_This would be so much better if they weren't here. _

With her cheeks flushed as red as a tomato, she handed the box to Gerik.

"Sorry." She apologized quietly as she bowed her head slightly.

Then she bolted back to her tent.

What's faster than a locomotive, lightning and Superman combined?

A flustered, red Marisa.

"Dolza..." L'Arachel said.

"Yes, my lady?" Dolza replied.

"Did you... Did you just see something pink pass by?" She asked confused. She looked on both sides and saw nothing close to the color pink.

"Hm, no I didn't."

"Hmm... Must have been my imagination then." L'Arachel shrugged.

As soon as she got to her tent, she hurled herself onto her bed, and lifted the covers over her body and head.

_I might as well stay here for the rest of my life. _

She was sure everyone in the campground had heard her. If not, those who witnessed the incident would spread the story around.

Oh, and Joshua. He would never let her live it down after she blatantly accused him for getting her something so risque.

_Now I REALLY don't deserve that present, whatever he got me._

She curled her legs up to her chest and shut her eyes. She didn't even care what the real present was.

_Darn you Christmas._ She thought bitterly._ I wish you were done and over with.  
_

"Knock, knock." Said a voice. She instinctively recognized it as Joshua.

Great. He was the last person she wanted to see.

"Go away." She grumbled as she turned her body to face the tent wall.

She felt pressure being applied on the end of the bed.

"I'll forgive you for nearly me giving a concussion, when clearly, you should apologize." He said.

She bit the bottom of her lip hesitantly.

"But it's Christmas, and I'm feeling jolly. I don't blame you for mistaking Gerik's present as mine. I mean, it was placed front and center of the tent. Even my eyes were drawn to it when I was placing your present." He got up.

"But if you had look a little further, you would have seen my present waiting for you at the foot of your bed."

Marisa poked her head out from beneath the covers.

She watched as Joshua bend over the foot of her bed and retrieved a very long, white rectangular box.

He sat himself down on the bed and handed the box to her. "Here."

She stared at the box hesitantly.

It was... Very big. And she was rather curious of what was in it. If it was lingerie...

She retreated her head back underneath the covers. "No. I don't want it." She lied. She felt too guilty after what she did to him.

"Marisaaaaaa." He sang just like in her imaginative scenario. Tingles went up her spine.

_Oh no. What's he going to do?_

"I won't leave you alone until you've opened my present." He said as he placed his head on her shoulder, and his arms around her waist.

She laid still as she thought up of something to say.

"Go ahead. What's the worst you can do? You being here makes me want to take my own life." She grumbled.

Harsh. But hopefully he'll get the message.

"Ouch. That hurts." He said mockingly. "But what if I did... This?" He sat on top of her and jabbed his fingers at her sides, ticking her.

"Ah... Haha! Wh- St-stop it! Hahahahah!" She giggled as she struggled to push him off.

She and Joshua twisted themselves up in the bed sheets, making a huge tangled mess. Finally, she mimicked his action and began to poke him in the sides.

He laughed.

And she laughed too.

Their roar of laughter could be heard across the camp ground.

"Tr-truce!" Joshua shouted.

At the same time, they retracted their hands off of each other.

They laid side by side, panting as they caught their breaths.

_That was... Fun. _She thought to herself as she stared up at the tent ceiling.

"Okay. Now open my present." He said. "Or you die from laughter." He lunged his hands at her sides once more.

"Okay! Okay! I'll do it." She said as she brushed his hands off of her.

She sat up as he handed her the box.

It wasn't wrapped so she too the lid off and...

She gasped.

She carefully took out the sheathed sword. She traced her fingers along the designs carved on the sheath, admiring its beauty. Then, she took the sword out and gently swung around, making whoosh sounds as she did.

"It's beautiful." She said. "It must have costed you a fortune."

"Nah." Joshua waved his hand at her. "Sometimes being a King has its perks."

"Thank you." She sheathed the sword and gently placed it beside her.

She chuckled to herself as she thought back to what he said to her.

_"...I was kinda hoping you could when we're together. Y'know, so we can improve together... You can even use it with other people!"_

_Ah.. So that's what he meant. _

Phew.

But still... She didn't have anything for him.

After nearly beating the snot out of him, he still had the decency to forgive her and give her her proper present. And a beautiful one, at that.

She stood up.

"It's not too late, I can still go get you something." She started to walk towards the tent door, but was held back by Joshua's grasp around her wrist.

"No need. I have what I want right here."

"Right here...?"

He pulled her down onto the bed once again, placed his hands on her neck and kissed her gently on her lips.

She stared wide-eyed at him. Her heart was beating fast, and her body was starting to unusually warm up.

He took his lips off but held his face close to her.

"Ah..." She gasped out. She stared into his crimson red eyes. "You... Want... What?" She asked dumbfounded.

"You." He said soothingly.

"... Me?"

"Yes, you. And this isn't a joke."

She was in shock. She was frozen. Swooned by his suaveness. Mesmerized by his charming personality. Enchanted by his good looks. Hypnotized by his- Okay I'll stop.

"... Why me?" Was all she could ask.

"It's pretty self explanatory, Marisa. You're beautiful, talented, able to hold your own fights, smart, and not to mention, adorable. No gift can compare with you. Seeing you smile from my present is all I need."

She stared skeptically at him. "You're talking about me?"

"Haha! I'll add hilarious to the list as well." He said as he poked her gently on the nose. "Surely, you feel the same way about me? Underneath your hatred facade, you actually like me."

She thought about it. "P-perhaps..." She said timidly.

He smiled at her, then wrapped his arms around her in a small embrace.

"Well, this has been a good Christmas so far, hasn't it? Aside from you bashing my head." He said as he rested his head on her shoulder.

She blushed. "Sorry about that."

"That's alright. I know you did that out of love, and not hatred." Then he began to chuckle.

"What?" She asked.

"You actually thought I would get you something like Gerik's present?" He asked.

She blushed as she looked down. "Well..."

"You won't be getting a present like that for at least a couple of years."

"Ha, I- What?" She pushed him off her.

"Speaking of which, I should ask Gerik where he got that, for future references." He stood up.

"Huh?"

Before she could stop him, he had headed out the tent.

"Wait!" She called after him. She poked her head out the tent to see where he had headed to. She watched as he jogged away from her.

She immediately chased after him. "No, Joshua!" She shouted. "NUUUUUUU!"

And just like in her imagination, her cries were heard by no one.

* * *

Christmas makes you feel like a lot of things: giddy, stressed out, anxious, happy, grumpy, all sorts of feelings!

And what a fine Christmas it had turned out to be;

aside from having numerous people throw up from downing L'Arachel's eggnog, migraines and headaches from Ewan's and Ross' horrid caroling, huge debt owed from losing in poker and near fatal heart attacks from the sight of spiders...

Our very own nearly hopeless scrooge found love and the true meaning of Christmas.

That meaning?

Spending time with loved ones, people who care about you, and just relaxing in comfort. It's about reminiscing no the memories spent with your friends and family and being thankful for what you have.

Thankful and grateful she was for the things in her life, but it's a shame it would have to be cut short after she beats up, if not kill, a certain someone.

"Darn you Christmas." She grumbled to herself. "I wish you were done and over with."

But only a certain someone who knew her well and cherished her, knew fully well that she only said that out of love, and not bitterness.

All in all, it was a good Christmas, amongst the many Christmases expected to come._

* * *

_

* * *

**A/N:**

Bwahahahahaha! Woo, that was a bit weird to type. It was originally supposed to be mainly humorous, but then I was thinking "wait... I should tie it in with Christmas somehow..." so I added the little part at the end :)

Haha, well hope you've enjoyed this!

Have a great and awesome merry Christmas everyone!

By the way, did anyone else see the lunar eclipse last night? They said it was only visible in North and South America... But it was pretty cool!

An hour standing outside in nothing but my jacket and my jammies in -20 weather... Oh well it was worth it!


End file.
